Last time you saw your optometrist, you were -5+ in both eyes. How do you possibly explain your sudden 20/20 vision? 😇

‘It’s been 2-5 years since you’ve last seen your optometrist. Last time you saw them, you were -5+ in both eyes. Now you have perfect 20/20 vision. What do you tell them?’

This is pretty much what I’m planning to do. I intentionally go to new optometrists for eye checkups, because the payoff and the surprise at my usual one will be priceless. They will look at the computer system, see OD/OS -5.75/-4.25, and then probably insist I must have had laser eye surgery. What can you possibly respond with?

I’m not doing any of this. :upside_down_face:

Just a fun question. Here’s some options:

  1. Explain everything to do with Endmyopia in detailed scientific fashion and give them an existential crisis about their career choice
  2. Pretend you don’t know at all
  3. Exclaim you prayed to your god for a long time and your vision improved, it’s a miracle
  4. Someone hit me in the head with a bat really hard
  5. Say you were testing their identification system for their ‘patients’, they’ve failed resoundingly (you’re not the patient that they had on that system)
  6. Tell them you started eating five kilograms of carrots every day for 2-5 years and it worked
  7. Tell them you followed the advice of some guy online who lives in Vietnam who calls himself the eye guru
  8. Ayurveda
  9. Tell them you opened your eye chakra and now not only you can see properly, but you can see into all of the winding possible futures and realities that might come true
  10. Tell them some guy taught you how to use your eyes properly, a poor workman blames their tools after all and now you know better
  11. I woke up today with perfect vision I don’t know how this happened!!
  12. Sunning
  13. Say contact lenses got stuck in your eye and you can’t take them out (they’d inspect like crazy and see nothing, but there’s no way your eyes could go back to 20/20 like that…)
  14. I drank petrol for 2-5 years and it’s actually a miracle cure for myopia
  15. You actually sacrificed several cute animals in a satanic ritual in exchange for perfect eyesight
  16. Can’t you see I’m squinting to see the eyechart? Look how hard I’m squinting!
  17. You looked up up down down left right left right, blinked your left eye, then blinked your right eye and then blinked both eyes at once and your vision became perfect

Continue :slight_smile:

(as an aside, we might need a ‘humour/jokes/tomfoolery/silliness’ forum category)


Don’t you have any homework? :roll_eyes:


Sure I dooooooo… :wink:


Lying helps nobody. Either tell the truth or refuse to say.

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Hopefully my evidently hilarious jokes aren’t being lost on anybody :joy:


I thought about this too and I think I’m going to tell them I met a homeless guy who claimed to be Jesus and he laid his hands on my face and the next morning I woke up like this.


In one of the gospel stories, Jesus spits and rubs mud in the blind man’s eyes. He asks, how about now? and the man say, I see men, like trees walking. And Jesus does it again, and then he sees clearly.

Of course the next part is, Jesus tells him to tell no one, but he does anyway. That’s gratitude for you.

There is a Johnny Cash song about this. And he nailed NIN’s “Hurt,” but that’s another story.


Almost. Except, you pilgrims to the bearded eye guru on the misty mountain top. He put you on a paraglide and promised your vision will be 20/20 if you survived your first flight all alone. A miracle❣️

I love #5, you’re a mister shopper :joy::+1:t2:

Lollolololiiooooooooolll​:heavy_heart_exclamation: #13 is so great! But beware, they’ll put you in a clinic and cut up your eyes… :joy:

I don’t get this :thinking: Whyyyy…? :thought_balloon:
Just because, some of us can’t hold onto themselves and turn every discussion into a joke…? :thought_balloon:
I mean - we’re discussing a very important and serious issue here, especially in this thread! :partying_face: :carrot::carrot:

@Ursa of cause he has lots of homework - which is why he’s doing more productive things here :wink: I’ll happily teach you some procrastination, if you care, you’re obviously not a pro on that one :joy::joy: (ah, envy you a bit for that!!)

Ok, back to topic, inspired by sacrificing:

  • I smeared my (For gentlemen: girlfriend’s/a healer did that) menstruation blood over my eyes, kept it there for three days and now I see!
  • I’m wearing pinhole contact lenses.
  • the big Pharma magic pill - don’t you know?
  • long silent look, followed by: I must not talk about it.
  • I found out I was adopted, and my original parents did not wear glasses. I figured I’m genetically not myopic and actually, never was. How come you gave me glasses?
  • Placebo. I just believe I can see 20/20. So you say it really works?!?
  • I used google scholar and found optometry is a scam!

wow somebody’s taking this too seriously :smiley:


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
The long silent look, I love it. Found out you were adopted :rofl: If you actually told an optician that last one about google scholar that’d be a double kill, their previous measurements must have been wrong by about 5 diopters, and you’re giving them existential dread that everything they’ve known is a scam :joy:

OH yes: let’s get down to serious business. adjusts suit and tie

Simply so we could use the wonderful category selector to choose the silly and jokey threads. Jake said once (paraphrasing) the situation with myopia is kind of diametric and bipolar. On one hand you have a completely depressing and miserable condition that has been foisted upon a huge chunk of the world’s population to extract profit from them with nobody the wiser… and on the other hand we all can’t help but laugh at the total absurdity of the situation. The situation’s a total joke, that’s why it’s all about the beards and the memes on the website. The forum isn’t called ‘Endmyopia Community Forum’ it’s called ‘Le Meow’ for Pete’s sake :rofl:

As the (now) official Le Meow representative of flawless and ingenious humour, I propose to the board that we institute a new forum category called ‘Humor’ (although in a perfect world it should be called ‘Absurdity’). The category should have a pink colour, because I said so. It’s a home for joke threads, of which I count I’ve made three of. The poor tired out ‘General’ category can’t handle the burden any more, its weak little legs are about to collapse. I hope the board can accept my proposal (and if not, the general category better stop skipping leg day)

I’m in a really weird mood today…

You haven’t seen nothing yet, there is much learning to do in the art of not learning how to do things (unless it’s about eyeballs, in which case make it stop… make it stop!!)

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Ouch. Is there any way to twist this stiletto as it slices the aorta, too?


Wait - were you taking me seriously , you of all British humour?!? Or were you just pretending to take it seriously and I’m the fool now…
Uaaahhh!!! :joy::joy::joy::joy:

As much as I feel with you, the bearded board is trying to have a minimum of categories to keep overview easy - as far as I know.
I wouldn’t mind a category, but I’m just as happy with spamming general and others’ posts, hoping no one kicks me out :wink:

:warning: Uuuuh, dangerous!!! :warning:
I know at least one crazy mod who’s being challenged right now. I know at least two other ones who re in the race, as well as a beard and - not to forget @lajos! So beware, you can’t just claim that title! :joy:

Pleas go on, please please pleeeaaazzz!!!
I’ll let this one melt on my tongue, so beautifully put :+1:t2:

This one, too :heavy_heart_exclamation::joy:
I’m working on it! :wink:


Another great typo. I doubt Jake would be happy with that. :grin:


Wait what why?
I don’t think it is one…? Where’s the typo - pleeaaas, make me laugh!! :sun_with_face:

Nottnott is addressing the board, which is why I’m referring to the bearded board…

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Sorry, I thought you were talking about the bearded bard - Jake himself.


No problem :wink:
You usually point out the typos I missed and are quite fun :joy:
I’m sure you still will :blush:

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Only when they are in fact amusing - most of them aren’t, of course. :wink:


Just saw an opportunity to push for something that might just happen inevitably either way if the forum keeps growing. The general category will have to eat my biohazardous waste eyesight jokes for now :stuck_out_tongue:

No it’s claimed, it’s mine
backs up into a dark corner holding a butter knife slowly

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seeing the butter knife, jumps for the cupboard and opens the Nutella jar, quickly moving it towards the butter knife

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I’m really diddled now

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