‘It’s been 2-5 years since you’ve last seen your optometrist. Last time you saw them, you were -5+ in both eyes. Now you have perfect 20/20 vision. What do you tell them?’
This is pretty much what I’m planning to do. I intentionally go to new optometrists for eye checkups, because the payoff and the surprise at my usual one will be priceless. They will look at the computer system, see OD/OS -5.75/-4.25, and then probably insist I must have had laser eye surgery. What can you possibly respond with?
I’m not doing any of this.
Just a fun question. Here’s some options:
- Explain everything to do with Endmyopia in detailed scientific fashion and give them an existential crisis about their career choice
- Pretend you don’t know at all
- Exclaim you prayed to your god for a long time and your vision improved, it’s a miracle
- Someone hit me in the head with a bat really hard
- Say you were testing their identification system for their ‘patients’, they’ve failed resoundingly (you’re not the patient that they had on that system)
- Tell them you started eating five kilograms of carrots every day for 2-5 years and it worked
- Tell them you followed the advice of some guy online who lives in Vietnam who calls himself the eye guru
- Tell them you opened your eye chakra and now not only you can see properly, but you can see into all of the winding possible futures and realities that might come true
- Tell them some guy taught you how to use your eyes properly, a poor workman blames their tools after all and now you know better
- I woke up today with perfect vision I don’t know how this happened!!
- Say contact lenses got stuck in your eye and you can’t take them out (they’d inspect like crazy and see nothing, but there’s no way your eyes could go back to 20/20 like that…)
- I drank petrol for 2-5 years and it’s actually a miracle cure for myopia
- You actually sacrificed several cute animals in a satanic ritual in exchange for perfect eyesight
- Can’t you see I’m squinting to see the eyechart? Look how hard I’m squinting!
- You looked up up down down left right left right, blinked your left eye, then blinked your right eye and then blinked both eyes at once and your vision became perfect
(as an aside, we might need a ‘humour/jokes/tomfoolery/silliness’ forum category)