Neurotic and depressed high myope from the Bay Area

Hey there, this is my intro post.

  • I am 43 and mom of two.

  • Got glasses at age 8 and then went on an optometrist-induced myopia escalator.

  • My eyes now are at -9.5 each (I think, not sure).

  • I have been wearing -7.00D glasses. But I have a bunch more (at this point I am lost with regards to what do I need to wear, so I stick to the -7D for most things)

  • I mostly wear contact lenses of -6.00D and supplement them with -1.75D glasses for driving

  • Its all a guesswork

  • I’ve done a million things for my eyes, including weird yoga stuff and a ton of Bates in the past. I’ve seen a vision therapy person for many weeks a few years ago. I did photosynthonic treatment, and all kind of other things - NOTHING ever helped.

  • My vision continues to decrease, albeit slowly, not sure why. Bad habits?

  • I have been undercorrected for the last 20 years and am completely used to the blur.
    – Which I just learned is not a good thing. :face_with_monocle:
    – On a plus side, I was not overcorrected for a long long time.

  • I work in tech, so A LOT of screen time, sadly. I wish I would not have to work in tech.

  • I don’t don’t have any outdoor hobbies. I usually spent around an hour walking outside. But I feel that its just mindless “leg shuffling”. I don’t try to actively look out. I am so used to being in my little bubble… :face_with_monocle:

  • I have been thoroughly depressed over my myopia because it freaking looks ugly! And because I feel like a helpless blind kitten everywhere, with the blur that I enforced on myself.

  • I am also highly neurotic, anxious and stressed person which probably doesn’t help :face_with_monocle:

  • I am scheduled next week for my first retinal laser “welding” because of a fluid pocket. I am terrified to my core.

  • Joined EndMyopia a few days ago. Currently going one by one over Jake’s YouTubes (just in audio). So much information!!

  • I really REALLY want to fix my eyes. At least a little bit. If I get to -7D that would be a huge success for me.

  • I am smart and can process a lot of information - but need a bit of hand-holding for this one. Would love to join the 20/20 course, once spots become available.

  • I want some support and also other humans to talk these things through. So far this whole thing was VERY isolating. I felt very alone and claustrophobic in this struggle. I feel like myopia defined my life. The activities that I do. And the kind of anxious mess I became.

For now, feeling pretty helpless and overwhelmed and not sure where and how to start. My brain is so used to NOT seeing. I am not sure what my actual prescription is. I don’t know what glasses to get. What about contacts?


Have you signed up for the 7 day email? And there is a wiki how to hear on the le meow site. Perhaps looking towards a goal of getting outside to improve your eyesight is what you need to help your overall perspective. We can’t fix your eyesight but we have all found the way to improve on our own with a bit and sometimes alot of trial and error. So keep in mind that some questions we can’t solve. Be sure to dig into some of the great info provided to get yourself on the road. Perhaps there will be someone in here that drops some links. But you can use the search function and put in things like getting started, and the wiki how to. Welcome it isnt really boring here when you are getting going.


To the extent that it’s possible you want to be outside, especially around sunrise or sunset. If you’re working all the time maybe if you get stuck on conference calls there’s a way to take them outdoors? Even if you’re pacing back and forth yelling at people on the phone outside in a courtyard that’s better for your eyes than being inside looking at a screen.

Obviously it would be better to be hiking around Marin headlands watching the sunset, but I realize that’s not realistic for everybody.

Do you have an eye chart? If you put some up in convenient locations and measure out 20 feet (so you know where to stand) it will give you a much clearer picture of what’s going on day-to-day, and that should clarify what strength lenses you want to wear.

Try to think of those personality traits as assets, maybe you can use them to stay motivated or on top of things. Knowing yourself is half the battle, so at least you can take a step back and say “maybe I’m just too neurotic, anxious and stressed… let me try to think about this a different way.”

It’s not really an EM thing at all, but if I were you I’d try to make sure my diet was on point with lots of vegetables (maybe even take the “eye vitamins” like lutein and zeaxanthin.) My personal belief is that those things are possibly helpful, unlikely to hurt.

I hope the retinal welding goes well! It is scary to think about.

In addition to getting as much outdoor time away from screens as possible, you should be trying to get as much distance on the screens as you can. It sounds like you’re already using “differentials” by wearing -6.00D contacts for your screen use and then -1.75D glasses over them for driving (which presumably takes you to full correction.) When you’re on the computer you want to try to do “print pushing” which is getting it as far away from your face as you can before it starts getting blurry.

I’m a big fan of using glasses with base-in prism for close-up work, if you’re crazy like me and want to try everything, that’s also something worth trying. Base-in prism can be used to reduce convergence, which is where your eyes have to roll in to point at a spot right in front of you (like a screen). Convergence and accommodation for extended periods of time tend to be hard on your eyes (causes the muscles to spasm or be overworked). So that’s another thing you can try that might help reduce some of the eyestrain you’re getting from tech work. [Not as great for your eyes as cashing in all your millions of dollars in stock options and walking around Sausilto for a few hours every day, but worth trying.]



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Hi Jenn, thanks for the hello! :slight_smile: Yes, I did sign up for the email and am on day 4 today.
And yes, I’ve been digging into the forum and its so much information! I wish I have discovered it earlier!!


Thank you nycmao! :slight_smile:
(btw, I don’t know how to do internal quotes, so will just reply to your post in one block)

I’ve worked on the convergence/divergence when I did a “formal” vision therapy. I was so over-converged that I was supposed to have a 7 base prism. I just didn’t know about it because no other prior optometrist measured this. I cleared that out over a few month through exercises that were given to me at the vision therapy office. Its really a skill I learned - I had no idea about these muscles. I also have a software at home, called VisionBuilder, that was given to me at the vision therapy office, that has really good convergence/divergence practice.

Oh, I think I was not very clear when I said I don’t do anything outside. I meant, I don’t have any outdoor hobbies. I am indoor kinda person. I do go on daily walks for at least an hour. I also moved my desk to face the window and on the endless conference calls, I just stare outside.

I don’t have an eye chart. I should get one, just don’t know which one to buy .

I do take supplements with lutein and zeaxanthin

Again, thank you for saying hi!


I have nothing to offer to help you as I am new here myself, but I wish you the best!

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Lots of us have been there!

This whole thing exists because nothing else works - all that well anyway. (just kidding everything else, maybe you work we just haven’t really connected)

I’ve done it all too!

Or just anything not involving screens. I sometimes say have an experiment ,no recreational phone time for a week or two. No Youtube or Facebook or anything to stop boredom from setting in. Boredom > inspiration > creativity > new interesting things to do.

Though that may be presumptive. Just idle musings.

I’ve pretty much done hardly any new spots at all because life here has been a bit less than amazing and super distracted. E-mail me for waitlist.

I like this. I’m also tending towards (slightly) paranoid and never happy with my efforts. Used to let that go into negative bits, now spending more time reminding that this can all be productive if managed well.

The eyeballs project can be a great starting point for positive experiences and also reviewing general life habits a little bit!


We all do! Welcome to the community and best wishes in your journey.


Hey I was (-9/-7.25, -1.25) and still am a kinda high myope (-7.0, -5.75, 0.5) but I’m from the Bay Area too and I used to work in tech too and I was a super indoor introvert person. :blush:

If you need a EM friendly eye doctor I know a few that I can recommend you. You CAN still make lots of progress even with a lot of screen time but you need to take that 20/20/20 break and keep up those outdoor walks, it makes a big difference.

Are you currently -9.5 but wearing -7.00 glasses and can you make out the Snellan chart (which you can buy on Amazon, I just bought a couple of plastic coated 20ft Snellan which I post outdoors and it’s water resistant)? Be careful about blur adaptation. It happened to me once and I had to add back 0.5 diopters back because I wasn’t checking my Snellan chart.

There is a contacts calculator on the EM site that you can Google for and in the forum there is an entire list of places you can buy contacts without a Rx that Jake just put up a few days ago.

Welcome @sophie_p, you’re not alone in this journey!


Yes, I do want an EM friendly eye doctor and I would LOVE to connect with you! Is there a DM option on here?

Well, thats what I was doing. I started wearing my normalized more, and I sort of not really liking it. But doing it gradually.

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Click on the user and the message box appears.

Since you are so blur adapted you might need to work your way up before working your way down. So say go from -7 to -7.5, for a few weeks then up to the -8 and so on till you can tolerate your full 20/20 correction, for that clarity reference. Then you just set those aside (labeled well) for use as you come back down.


Count your blessings that you found Endmyopia :sparkles::heart::sparkles: I found EM 8 years after lasik and how I wished I could reverse the clock. I was in double digits and can relate to every emotion associated with bad vision. I’m generally a happy positive person but my eyesight always brought me down when I’d wear glasses. I seriously thought I was the only -8 alive when I started working in finance with constant close work.

In a nutshell, minimize the duration of your close-up work, go outside and use your peripheral vision to fully relax your crystalline lens for several minutes. Turn off your smartphone notifications, minimize socal media and any close-up activities except for work. Maybe listen to audio tapes and podcasts while walking instead of reading news alerts on your devices. Get info from listening rather than reading. Try to eat foods high in Vitamin C along with your eye vitamins. Looks like you need more tips on Active Focus since you’re already using reduced lenses.

Try to have a heart of gratitude for every little thing you may take for granted. That small paradigm shift makes all the difference in your outlook on life. The pandemic taught me alot about being thankful…just waking up in my own bed, such a blessing when I think of catastrophic disasters or collapsed condos in the middle of the night.

Good luck with your research! It is, believe it or not, A Fun Journey :smiley::pray:


:joy: Welcome to the club. Lots of us have been there!

Might be a great experience to adjust that just a little bit and enjoy better vision - while working on reducing diopter dependence.

Because I’m also a huge introvert and always busy and don’t like online sales type vibes, the course is mostly an invite / e-mail nudge / ask me, thing. Happy for you to join, just DM or email me (unless you already did … or very similar name). Feel free to try the free resources, there’s not really any requirement to pay for stuff. :wink:

Side note, I keep thinking to figure out some kind of recurring video chat for the course / support. The text only support forum leaves me with the occasional feeling that I miss things / could do better.

So many awesome comments here, fills my tiny heart with joy. Thanks @mare, @Reannon, @Candacew.wong, @nycmao!