Social Friend Taking Child to Eye Doctor to Get First Pair of Glasses

I’m not sure I know them well enough to say anything, but at the same time I kind of feel like I should “say something.”

Anyone know a good way to suggest that there are non-mainstream alternatives that actually work? The parents are very nice people, but extremely “mainstream” in their beliefs. They’re going to do whatever the “doctor” says.

I’m pretty sure they’re going to be told that “child should wear full correction all the time including in front of the computer and reading a book or it could hurt his eyes.”

Makes me sad.

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Best of luck. I tried talking to my brother-in-law about his 4 year old daughter’s glasses and my cousin about her 7 year old daughter. Neither seemed interested.

I wasn’t overly pushy, but I got the idea they both thought the Dr will know best.

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Yeah @Kevin.L’s experience is the same as my own. I have tried to get a few people not to run to the opto and get their kids lenses but I get polite interest as a response. And next time I see the kid they’re in glasses :frowning:

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When people receive unsolicited advice, it puts them in an awkward position and it doesn’t feel good. Kind of like an invasion of privacy of sorts. I think when people are ready for something they give some indication.

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I tried letting my cousin know about EM (her daughter wears glasses) but they are happy following the “wear glasses permanently” route.
I think it is better to accept whatever decision they choose- you don’t want to be seen as some sort of weirdo.

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Tried with the mother of a 11-year-old boy who got his first prescription last year. About -0.75D.
I didn’t mention EM, or a bearded guru, etc.
The colleague has mid-myopia, and the whole family is between -3.5D and -8D. So she bought into “it’s genetic” but was also worried where in the scale the son would end up and how much it would turn him towards more indoor hobbies. I simply mentioned that my once -2D just got measured as no glasses needed by an opto (opto = credibitility). And I added that the usual thing with kids is to have them wear glasses for everything except for running around (in fear of breaking the expensive glasses), while my mum’s method (white lie) was the opposite: to wear them for distance only (when I really noticed the difference in vision with and without glasses) and not for close-up where I could manage clear vision any time without any eyestrain easily. Then to convince her further I added that after all glasses were prescribed because I and her son failed at a vision test at black/whiteboard distance, not when reading a book.
She said that made sense and confirmed that at this stage her son simply forgets to put the glasses on for school work or at home and doesn’t like wearing them in general either. So I advised to only have him wear them when he asks for them, e.g. watching TV - big screen, good distance.
This one was a win.

My neighbour is around -10D, we chatted about other things and then she mentioned her headache with her new glasses but wanted to wear those as those finally gave her enough clarity for driving (she is fearful that if her myopia progresses then she won’t be able to drive after a while). So I advised her to find old glasses from 2 years ago and wear those for arm’s distance - she cooks a lot. And to wear the glasses from last year at home in general. That was the max I could achieve (as she thought ordering glasses online from China is “dodgy” - well, just as dodgy as the opto’s glasses are…). She was very happy about these changes a few months later as this reduced her headaches. She accepted that wearing lower prescriptions at home was more comfortable because distances were shorter within the flat. But she would not consider reducing 0.25Ds from the glasses…

Mentioning EM, internet, guru, etc challenges biases and is an invite not to trust in medical professionals. These cause discomfort. You have to meet them where they are. Or just hint on what’s possible and meet them in 2 years’ time when they have at least 0.5D more added after 2 more visits to optos and the seeds of doubt have grown a bit driving them back to you… (and by that time you’ll have 2D less in your correction => even more convincing it is possible)

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Same lines were repeated by my opto :rofl:

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As long as they’re aware that it’s a thing that’s enough. Then it’s in their ball court to respond how they want to respond.

Usually when it comes to close-minded people the key here is to make it personal rather than factual because your average person is just not open-minded and doesn’t really know how to engage with facts other than engaging in their argumentative defensive mechanisms.

So, just make it true to your story. I was a young kid when i first started wearing glasses and I noticed that it made my vision really bad. I came across some scientific work from Stanford (nothing like an appeal to authority) that talked about ways of improving your vision via x y and z and I’ve been doing that for years, My vision si good now

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That is pretty much my approach. I have had more opportunities to bring it up than seems likely. But when a conversation goes the right ways I just drop the fact that I am working on my vision. Sometimes they bite and sometimes they blow it off. If they show interest I expand with the shortest possible version of being down by almost half of my previously stable correction of nearly 20 years. Most of them find it interesting, even ask where to find more information but almost none follow through… And those that follow through it takes time, one is getting serious about it now after showing polite interest nearly 2 years ago. So yeah @nycmao it might feel like you hit a wall atm but most people need a period of adjustment when their pillars of reality get a shake. And even then they might accept that there is another way, but not be willing to make the changes required. But perhaps down the road they might feel differently, either way at least you tried.

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As far as my experience goes i was being too enthusiastic and told about EM to a lot of people. No matter the big improvements i am having, they just don’t seem to be intrigued enough to start. Maybe 1-2 people i told actually started doing it, but others dont. I think maybe i wouldnt have started it either if someone else had told me, not sure. What i know for sure that at the point when i started i was so desperate that i literally would have tried everything, and i couldnt think, couldnt sleep i could only think of my recent eye exam and my increased prescription. It has come to a point when i felt like i have to do something as i am not able to accept this anymore. It requires a lot of dedication, your whole life changes and not everybody is up for it…

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yeah your job only is to bring it to light. Those that are ready to hear it will hear it. Those that aren’t won’t.

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